How do I prepare my children for the financial responsibilities of college?
Dear Friends,
Graduation season is here. Whenever I attend a high school or college graduation, I end up thinking about the word “commencement.” For a parent of a graduate, it is so encouraging to be reminded that graduations are beginnings, not just endings. Our 18 year olds are starting a pseudo life-on-their-own in college (hopefully!) and our 22 year olds are embarking on “real life” without our direct input. (if we’re lucky!) New growth and new beginnings are just around the corner from those commencement ceremonies.
Beginnings always come with expectations. In my experience, I have found that one of the keys to peaceful transitions in life is being able to manage expectations. When expectations are met, transitions are relatively easy; when expectations are missed, transitions can be very painful indeed.
Years ago, I worked with a man who remains, to this day, a foremost Christian business consultant. He taught me the phrase “coping gap,” which he defined as the difference between expectation and reality. The greater the difference between expectation and reality, the more difficult the transition to the “new normal” will be.
This coping gap idea is so relevant for parenting children who are about to enter a new phase of independence, like college. I would challenge you to think long and hard about several layers of expectations:
- What is your expectation for how much money they will receive from you? What is their expectation about that amount?
- What is your expectation of the grades they will aim to achieve? What is their expectation about that same GPA?
- What is your expectation of whether they will have a job while in college? What is their expectation about having a job?
- What is your expectation about how much they will communicate with you while they are away? What is their expectation about that communication?
- ETC…You get the picture!
May God’s peace encourage you as you pursue financial wisdom and depend on His Truth.
Blessings,
Love the idea about having a formal "cutting the apron strings" conversation.
Bill
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I like the "cutting the apron strings" idea, too. I'd also like to hear ideas about how aunts and uncles can help their nieces and nephews.
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As a parent of a 24 year old and 20 year old who have run up credit cards I would like advice on helping redirect their spending and savings patterns. I think we are going to meet this summer one night a week and work thru Surviving Financial Meltdown.
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Very informative. I wish I was taught more about financial responsibility before entering adulthood. Unfortunately, some children struggle because their parents are still struggling. Neither party has established expectations and financial lifestyle goals.
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There are several financial "experts" who say you can avoid credit cards, but I am with Ron - let's teach our children how to responsibly use credit instead of hoping they will choose not to use it. That's being responsible. My kids are still small, but I work at a university and agree with Ron that we need to be intentional in our efforts to prepare our children to stand on their own in college and beyond. Ron, how about developing some curriculum or a book for college students?
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