Dear Friends,

This weekend is Mother’s Day.  Hopefully you are all looking forward to honoring your own mother or your wife on Sunday.  Judy and I are excited about having lunch with two of our married children and their kids on Sunday.  Hopefully, I won’t burn the steaks!

Much of the envelope system falls to the mothers in a household for its implementation.  I just want to take a few paragraphs to talk to husbands about how you can assist your wife as you put the envelope system into practice in your home.

First of all, I want to encourage you that as you work out this program for and with your kids, it can be a great tool in your marriage to open the doors of communication about how you prioritize your budget “envelopes.”  Many couples have conflict over money issues, and I have found that the conflict often comes from the different male / female “wiring” more than it does from actual differences in value systems between the husband and wife.  As you work out the envelope system for your children, you may find that you see the other person’s heart about money more clearly.  That new understanding of your spouse may just improve your communication about your family budget, too.

Secondly, as you implement the system in your home, I’d like to encourage husbands to love their wives with grace and truth, just as Jesus loves us.  Sometimes, the envelope system needs to be tweaked to suit the needs of a child’s personality.  We had one daughter who was just not comfortable with a “spend” envelope alone.  She wanted money that had absolutely no assigned purpose whatsoever, so that she could feel free to “blow” it on anything.  She’s our free spirit.  Well, after going around with her about it a few times, Judy and I came up with a “flit” envelope for her.  All we did was move some of her spending money into the new envelope, and she was pleased that she had more freedom.  Judy knew the frustration that our daughter was feeling.  I didn’t quite get it because it was not rational to me, and because I wasn’t dealing with it on a regular basis.  That situation was a great opportunity for me to show grace to my daughter and to Judy rather than inserting my fatherly, rational self into the picture in a way that would have frustrated them both.

On the other hand, sometimes your wife will need you to support her by being the voice of truth for your kids.  Just as with all parenting, the envelope system works best when both of you are involved in teaching it to your children.  When your thirteen year old just can’t imagine why your wife won’t let her spend her gifts money on her clothing that month, support your wife by reiterating the principles and the values that the envelope system teaches.  Work together with your wife so that you are communicating the same messages to your kids.  If you do that, your children will benefit so much from your consistency.

The envelope system was one of the greatest places of growth and unity for Judy and me in our time of raising children together.  I pray that it functions in your children’s lives to teach them God’s principles of finances, and I pray that it functions in your marriage as a place where you can honor and learn from each other.

May God’s peace encourage you as you pursue financial wisdom and depend on His Truth.

Blessings,

Ron


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