"College is just around the corner, and we have no college fund started. I am starting to panic, and don't know where to begin!”
Dear Friends,
This week’s question regarding funding college education brought back many memories for me. I am a father of five college-educated children, and Judy and I have spent nearly all of the last twenty-two years with a child in either college or graduate school. Our thirty-two year old son is currently completing his PhD, and he has plans to graduate in August. What’s startling to me is that our oldest grandchild is now a freshman in high school, so his college decision is just three short years away. I could write volumes on college choices and parenting through the college years, but I’ll spare you the pontification today!
The question on the table is a straightforward one – basically, “Help! I don’t know how we can afford to send our three kids to college!” That straightforward question has some strong, underlying questions.
First of all, there is the massive question of saving money, period. Each of us has long-term savings goals, and almost all of us struggle to have enough money left over each month to adequately save for those goals. Obviously, the answer to the problem of saving more is spending less, but making our money go as far as our needs, goals, and aspirations is a challenging, life-long effort. I often teach that money management is the process of allocating limited resources to unlimited possibilities. Since a college education ranks high on the list of gifts we would like to give our children, our motivation to save in that area is often strong. Hopefully, you will have the opportunity to participate in a 529 plan or a similar instrument and save a small amount for many, many years toward a college education. However, the reality is that many families discover that their limited resources don’t allow them to save for their children’s college education much before it is time to send them. As college gets closer for your children, it is wise to have a frank discussion as a couple (and then with your child) about the realistic possibility of being able to pay for college.
The person who wrote this question is a mother who is speaking from her mother’s heart. She wants to be able to provide financially for her children as they leave and go to college, just as she has been able to provide for their physical and emotional needs as a mom. Her desire and her heart are so honorable and admirable! She is asking, “How can I continue to take care of my children in the way that they need me to?”
The question reveals her deep desire to continue to do the “right” thing for her children as she parents them. As I say in the video, our culture puts a lot of pressure on us, as parents, to provide a college education for our children. My encouragement to the mom who wrote this question is this: whether or not she and her husband can fully fund college is not nearly as important as whether or not they are giving their children the gift of good communication that is delivered in an atmosphere of trust and growing independence for the child. They need her support and guidance as a mom much more than they need the money to attend college.
Just as college works in a student’s life as a season of transfer from dependence to independence, the way that we treat our children during the process of college attendance can also be a very powerful tool to empower them to live independently and responsibly in the world.
May God’s peace encourage you as you pursue financial wisdom and depend on His Truth.
Blessings,
Ron
Click here for the video transcript
This week’s question regarding funding college education brought back many memories for me. I am a father of five college-educated children, and Judy and I have spent nearly all of the last twenty-two years with a child in either college or graduate school. Our thirty-two year old son is currently completing his PhD, and he has plans to graduate in August. What’s startling to me is that our oldest grandchild is now a freshman in high school, so his college decision is just three short years away. I could write volumes on college choices and parenting through the college years, but I’ll spare you the pontification today!
The question on the table is a straightforward one – basically, “Help! I don’t know how we can afford to send our three kids to college!” That straightforward question has some strong, underlying questions.
First of all, there is the massive question of saving money, period. Each of us has long-term savings goals, and almost all of us struggle to have enough money left over each month to adequately save for those goals. Obviously, the answer to the problem of saving more is spending less, but making our money go as far as our needs, goals, and aspirations is a challenging, life-long effort. I often teach that money management is the process of allocating limited resources to unlimited possibilities. Since a college education ranks high on the list of gifts we would like to give our children, our motivation to save in that area is often strong. Hopefully, you will have the opportunity to participate in a 529 plan or a similar instrument and save a small amount for many, many years toward a college education. However, the reality is that many families discover that their limited resources don’t allow them to save for their children’s college education much before it is time to send them. As college gets closer for your children, it is wise to have a frank discussion as a couple (and then with your child) about the realistic possibility of being able to pay for college.
The person who wrote this question is a mother who is speaking from her mother’s heart. She wants to be able to provide financially for her children as they leave and go to college, just as she has been able to provide for their physical and emotional needs as a mom. Her desire and her heart are so honorable and admirable! She is asking, “How can I continue to take care of my children in the way that they need me to?”
The question reveals her deep desire to continue to do the “right” thing for her children as she parents them. As I say in the video, our culture puts a lot of pressure on us, as parents, to provide a college education for our children. My encouragement to the mom who wrote this question is this: whether or not she and her husband can fully fund college is not nearly as important as whether or not they are giving their children the gift of good communication that is delivered in an atmosphere of trust and growing independence for the child. They need her support and guidance as a mom much more than they need the money to attend college.
Just as college works in a student’s life as a season of transfer from dependence to independence, the way that we treat our children during the process of college attendance can also be a very powerful tool to empower them to live independently and responsibly in the world.
May God’s peace encourage you as you pursue financial wisdom and depend on His Truth.
Blessings,
Ron
Click here for the video transcript
Ron, very well said. It is so important for parents to support their
children in a loving, open, trusting home. If children come from a home where their parenta love, support and pray for them, all the dreams in life are within reach. God bless you for sharing your years of financial planning with us as we rejoice in this most Holy season. He is Risen!!!!
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Ron,I really appreciate your distinguishing college education as a privilege and not a right. So many parents have worked themselves into the ground or gotten deeper into debt via 2nd mortgages or delaying the paying off of their home to fund their children's college education. There are ways to partially fund via work and Yes, my daughter is going to a community college to get her basic requirements out of the way b4 transferring into either a local university to live at home while commuting or perhaps working and going to school part time. Thx for addressing this issue !
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Ron, I also appreciated what you said about distinguishing college education as a privilege and not a right.
We also have three children and have not started any form of a college savings plan because we needed the money to make ends meet for our family budget. However, we made plans to get our house paid off before our kids got to college age. My Wife and I don't always agree with how we should help our kids during their college years... She wants to help them a lot... I believe they should be responsible for the majority of it by working/ scholarships/ and student loans if necessary. On this last issue, if at all possible, student loans should be avoided. 10 years is a long time to repay these and college graduates don't always start out with high salaries. These can be a problem for some people to meet their obligations. My Wife had one of these student loans and at a very low interest rate. It was a burden on us until we got it paid off. It was like a "monkey off our back" when we paid it off.
We have talked with our children about attending a State College very close to our home and living at home for free room and board. This is how we can help them the most. In addition, we would consider helping them out with tuition and books after they made every attempt with their work/ scholarships/etc. ... Remember our house is paid off so we would have the
monthly house payment to help if necessary. This would avoid them from going into any debt.
Something else to consider is how much do you help your children but short change yourself for your own retirement plans? We need to take these things to the Lord in prayer and ask for wisdom to be good stewards of His money He has given us.
We have one Daughter starting college in the Fall and she has the first year of tuition already saved. (PTL)
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