What is the best gift you ever gave your children at Christmastime?
Dear Friends,
Last week I shared about the gift that Judy and I give to our grandchildren each year. As Christmas approaches, we get so excited to find out where each of our eleven grandchildren have chosen to give their $100. Being able to afford to share money with our grandchildren is, partly, a gift of age. We have the money to share with them and we have the grandchildren to give it to!
This week, the video is more nostalgic for me. In it, I talk about the tradition of giving a Christmas list to each of our five children every year as their main gift from me. That gift giving tradition is just as special in my heart as the one that we do with our grandchildren now.
The difference, as I reflect on the two traditions, is that when our kids were young, we were financially limited and we were in the daily mire of parenting. Really, all I had to give them was time, and even that resource felt so limited to me. Those of you who have young children, limited resources, and full schedules are my intended audience today.
I have two distinct memories of “the list gone bad” with my kids. In one case, my third daughter, Karen, had chosen to go on a business trip with me for her gift. I was headed to Florida for two nights to speak at a conference, and she was so excited to accompany me. She was 9 years old and full of energy, ideas, and words. Her spunk got us to the airport and through the flight, but when we stood up to de-plane, the flu caught up with her and she vomited all over the well-dressed businesswoman in front of us. She was sick, I was horrified, and we were together in Florida for the next 48 hours. I won’t spell it out for you, but you can surely imagine my less than ideal business trip.
The other “list gone bad” experience that I remember is when my second daughter, Denise, was in high school. She was a basketball player and so, for her gift, she chose to go with me to a women’s NCAA basketball tournament for the weekend. Denise was notoriously shy at that age. I remember sitting through several games and several meals with a nearly mute child by my side. I’m not the world’s best conversationalist, so my very best efforts to draw her out fell far short of the mark and we spent much of the weekend in uncomfortable silence.
In my opinion, at the time, both of those experiences were failures. A sick 9 year old and a reticent 15 year old both felt less than perfect to me. I chalked those experiences up to “that’s life” and moved on in my relationships with my girls.
Come to find out, years later, that both girls took more away from those occasions than from any other Christmas list occasion that they could remember. Karen shared with me in a paper she wrote as an adult that the weekend of being sick in a hotel revealed my nurturing side and spoke my love to her in a very meaningful way at that time in her life. Denise shared with me as an adult that her best memories of Christmas list time with me were at that tournament. She knew I loved her for her and knew even then that I was giving her a tremendous gift by sharing in her passion for basketball.
Amazing! How often, as parents of young children and teenagers, do we discount the time that we spend with our children doing the undesirable? Cleaning up after a sick child and watching the painful, awkward phases of growing up are not part of the explicit joys of parenting. However, those times with our children speak more to them of our love and care for them than the happy, easy, and joyful times that we might recall as parents.
So, to you young parents, be encouraged that even the difficult times you share with your family this season are leaving lasting impressions on them that no material gift could ever leave.
May God’s peace encourage you as you pursue financial wisdom and depend on His Truth.
Blessings,
Ron
Click here for the video transcript
Last week I shared about the gift that Judy and I give to our grandchildren each year. As Christmas approaches, we get so excited to find out where each of our eleven grandchildren have chosen to give their $100. Being able to afford to share money with our grandchildren is, partly, a gift of age. We have the money to share with them and we have the grandchildren to give it to!
This week, the video is more nostalgic for me. In it, I talk about the tradition of giving a Christmas list to each of our five children every year as their main gift from me. That gift giving tradition is just as special in my heart as the one that we do with our grandchildren now.
The difference, as I reflect on the two traditions, is that when our kids were young, we were financially limited and we were in the daily mire of parenting. Really, all I had to give them was time, and even that resource felt so limited to me. Those of you who have young children, limited resources, and full schedules are my intended audience today.
I have two distinct memories of “the list gone bad” with my kids. In one case, my third daughter, Karen, had chosen to go on a business trip with me for her gift. I was headed to Florida for two nights to speak at a conference, and she was so excited to accompany me. She was 9 years old and full of energy, ideas, and words. Her spunk got us to the airport and through the flight, but when we stood up to de-plane, the flu caught up with her and she vomited all over the well-dressed businesswoman in front of us. She was sick, I was horrified, and we were together in Florida for the next 48 hours. I won’t spell it out for you, but you can surely imagine my less than ideal business trip.
The other “list gone bad” experience that I remember is when my second daughter, Denise, was in high school. She was a basketball player and so, for her gift, she chose to go with me to a women’s NCAA basketball tournament for the weekend. Denise was notoriously shy at that age. I remember sitting through several games and several meals with a nearly mute child by my side. I’m not the world’s best conversationalist, so my very best efforts to draw her out fell far short of the mark and we spent much of the weekend in uncomfortable silence.
In my opinion, at the time, both of those experiences were failures. A sick 9 year old and a reticent 15 year old both felt less than perfect to me. I chalked those experiences up to “that’s life” and moved on in my relationships with my girls.
Come to find out, years later, that both girls took more away from those occasions than from any other Christmas list occasion that they could remember. Karen shared with me in a paper she wrote as an adult that the weekend of being sick in a hotel revealed my nurturing side and spoke my love to her in a very meaningful way at that time in her life. Denise shared with me as an adult that her best memories of Christmas list time with me were at that tournament. She knew I loved her for her and knew even then that I was giving her a tremendous gift by sharing in her passion for basketball.
Amazing! How often, as parents of young children and teenagers, do we discount the time that we spend with our children doing the undesirable? Cleaning up after a sick child and watching the painful, awkward phases of growing up are not part of the explicit joys of parenting. However, those times with our children speak more to them of our love and care for them than the happy, easy, and joyful times that we might recall as parents.
So, to you young parents, be encouraged that even the difficult times you share with your family this season are leaving lasting impressions on them that no material gift could ever leave.
May God’s peace encourage you as you pursue financial wisdom and depend on His Truth.
Blessings,
Ron
Click here for the video transcript
Wonderful idea, thank you Ron. As my five children were growing up (I was a single Mom for 19 years) we did a "special day". I spent one entire day with one child at a time, doing something they wanted to do, going out for lunch and just having a day to listen to everything they had to say with no interruptions. These days have remained special to me many years later. My kids still talk about these special once a year days.
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